Stinky Breath Application

(This will be needed for any people you come across with bad breath but don't disrespect your elders)

Hello! Single ladies make some noise.

Audience: Wooah!

That's right, that's right. I ain't single I just don't have a man. But nah it's cool, it's cool. Cause my friends are like don't worry Milan (imaginary person), go clubbing, go find a decent man in a club. I can't take it I hate going clubbing now alright! I can't do it people. Ladies listen to me, have you ever been in a club right and you are doing your thing and you are dancing, everything is nice, the music is great and all of a sudden you just get depressed. Cause ugly guys always wanna chat to you right and there is always a hhuugly one and they wanna chat to you with their hhuugly conversations. Right with a hot breath. Breaths like those wanna make you brush your own teeth.

You know what I mean, out of all the people in the club; you had to talk to me innit right. Wow if you look like that and you think you can chat to me, how the hell must I look?

Follow me on twitter for more updates and entertainment @urbanflowmedia may soon change to something else so stay updated. Laterz and be good!

Slapping A Girl Doesn't Help!

(sorry about the video - find it on google or any other video site and search for 'French man slaps random girl')
Maybe the girl had already got a boyfriend, or she was disgusted by the appearance or smell of the boy. Out of every girl that was passing on that street, he just had to approach her; she has got the right to say NO! This guy is something we call a B*t*h, seeing a girl minding her own business and she clearly doesn't seem interested in you, why you gotta give her a rapid slap allow her to explain man. There's plenty of other girls to set your chance on, why become rowdy. O because maybe you've been embarrassed and ignored by lots of girls before, then something must be wrong with you: your face, body, smell, style, voice, chat, but whatever it could be try and improve that part before going on another mission to chat up a girl.

Below I've included some tips on 'how to approach a girl'

Non-moving women. This includes women leaning against a building or sitting on a bench

Make eye contact. Get close to them. Make an observation based on something they are doing or something they are wearing. Avoid flat-out compliments.

Walking in the same direction

Catch her up somehow, either at a crossing, or if she stops to look at something. Then go into your opener. Pay attention to your body language and volume so she doesn’t perceive you as a threat. You want to put her at ease, not frighten her.

Walking in the opposite direction

Walk to the side of her. As she goes by turn and speak to her with your upper body only. Don’t chase after her. If she doesn’t stop, just walk away and try again with your next opportunity.

Questions to think of: Is it right to be angry towards a girl that said NO to you? and for y'all girls what is the worst chat-up line you've heard?

Thanks to Skeeterpan for inviting me to his blog. Follow me on twitter @WithZaraah.

My GF cheated on me with her ugly ex

ok yall i was browsing blog sites on google and stumbled across another
question that i had to answer man maybe some of yall can relate check
this =]

HIS QUESTION:
Not too long ago I was in love with this girl. We were together for
quite some time; I loved and respected her more than any boyfriend
before and since me. I respected that she didn't want to have sex and
I trusted her to the greatest extent. I did everything possible to make
her happy. One day she went to a party without me. She went with a
couple of friends that we had in common so I had no objections with her
going. While she was at the party, she had sex with her ex-boyfriend…
— in front of 8 people on a couch! This happened about 2 months ago
and I'm still not over her. I see her everyday at school and it
absolutely tears me up inside at the mere thought of her. So, you can
imagine how I feel when I see her. I've tried to get over her by going
out partying and having sex with a few of her friends. But nothing is
making me feel better! The guy that she cheated on me with is ugly and
he uses her for sex. She is in love with him and still has sex with him.
He doesn't even like her, talks shit about her, and spreads personal
pictures of her. I've beat his ass every time I seen him but I still
feel fraked up inside. How can I get over the one that I love? I can
never take her back, but I can't stop thinking about her.

MY ANSWER:
smh bro i was gone say i dont know what to tell u untill u said u f**k
em up everytime lmao..thats funny ha and he ugly ? lmao..but man imma
tel u what went wrong in this relationship man smh..YOUR A P*SSY ASS
BOYFRIEND.. u gotta change yo ways cause most b*tches aint sh*t..u
prolly tried 2 wife a hoe..smh never works! cuhz u know hoes dont like
dudes trying cuff em and be all sweet..hoes like dudes who dont care..u
made a mistake wen u respected her sayin yall dont got to have sex? like
n*gga wtf..yo dumb*ss deserved 2 be cheated on..come dip yo head in this
bucket of mop water lol..but remember THE D*CK is the best way to a
womans heart..cause it brainwashes them for a long time being sweet, the
perfect boyfriend and all that gets you there to but it washes away
after a while..most girls will take sum good d*ck over a sweet boyfriend
who doesnt even wanna f** lol..and u also asked how to get over her? the
best way isnt revenge just keep f**king that other n*gga up everyday lol
nd dont stop..u said u cant stop thinking of her? aight well come thru
to my house so i can SOCK THE SHIT OUT YOU and maybe thatl get her out
yo head but yea all my viewers yall got a better answer to this? then
write me a comment =]

Do You Have Long P*ssy Lip Syndrome ??

Do you have long p*ssy lip syndrome?

Man whats u with these girls and these long ass pussy lips ? are yall
snugglin penis elargement pills or sum10 ? some of yall p*ssy lips look
like bacon strips =[..a n*gga go down n eat the p*ssy and it feel like a
top ramen noodle =[..it poke me in the eye n shit .u know yo shit long
wen i rub ur inner thigh and u go "oooh daddy" cuhz yo p*ssy lips
sag down to yo thigh lol…how the FUCK U 19 wit 60 yr lady pussy lips ?
..i bet wen u take a shit yo p*ssy lips touch the toilet water ..and
dont play like u dont know what im talking about lol a couple of yall
prolly like "oh no this n*gga didnt" lol..CLAIMIN got that good good
and yo p*ssy lips look like a flat intertube =[..every time i see them
type of pussy lips i imagine it talkn to me in the chipmunk voice lol
like "sup niggggyyyyy ahah holla at a playa" but damn man if a n*gga
go deep in that p*ssy yo pussy lips go O and wrap aroudn a n*gga ball
and whistle after every power stroke..and sum of yall need to learn how
to wash yo p*ssy cause sum of yall shit stank lol..u know yo shit stank
wen yo bf eat u out n stop n say "ohh shit baby im dizzy n stumble"
then walk outside to get sum fresh air ..i call it ONION P*SSY cuhz wen
that smell hit u yo eyes get watery like u got onion in it ..but man u
need sum tips on how to wash yo p*ssy lol
1st. u need sum muthafuccin soap..lol and none of hat 99 cent store
bull shit cuhz that aint gone cut it lol
2nd. u need sum mutha fuckin steamy hot water lol them p*ssy juice
germs need to be killed
3rd. u need sum kinda towel or wash cloth or sponge or any kind of
thing scrub a dub dub
4th. not only do u need soap and water u need sum type of shower gel on
top of that lol cuhz jus soap mite not cut it sum of yall even need more
than that
5th u need wash yo P*SSY more than any other part on yo body lol u dont
just wet get it wet.. put soap on it scrub for 3-5 secs then rinse that
shit aint gone cut it cuhz pussy is a deadly smell SMELLY P*SSY is a
poisin =[..itl kill a nigga in 3-5 minutes ..
and like if these tips dont help u then u dont need to be fuckin or
having sex at all and its a shame cuhz sum of yall dont even know yo
p*ssy stank B*TCHH HOW U NOT KNOW YO P*SSY STANK ? lol

IF ANY1 HAS ANY ADVISE PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS SO A GIRL WIT P*SSY
SYNDROM READIN THIS CUD KNOW WHAT TO DO LOL

Guilty Avenue Hoody

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How To Treat A Woman, Hoe, Groupie, Friend, Girlfriend, Woman

Now for those who know there are many different types of women, theres a Hoe, theres a groupie, theres the friend, theres the gf type and theres the woman. And they all need to be treated differently. Am these answers may be wrong or messed up but this is from my point of view




Now a hoe is a b*tch has nor respect for herself you never kiss in the mouth the type that you try to avoid kisses when you with them you never take a hoe on a date because only d*ck makes them happy hoes. NEVER EVER EVER EVER tell a hoe you love or "ily" she'll blast yo ass and put it out there to all her friends, she dont know how to act when she hear those words so if you tell a girl you love her just go walk yo a** into a train. Hoes are the ones you see at a party and when they say hi or try hug you, you act like you ain't see or hear them then after the party you text them. Hoes are usually the girls with the boyfriends who don't claim them if you ever see a n*gga with a girl in public and he ducking n sh*t his girlfriend is a hoe most likely, you should never talk to a hoe daily only @ night when needed. Its ok to be a asshole to a hoe because they hate simp p*ssy n*ggas they like the bad guys hoes get nutted on in the eye, head, forehead, or mouth and NO CUDDLING ALLOWED. Hoes are usually confused but once you but eventually after enough d*ck they realize there role some can accept it and some can't but it don't matter they can't control it cause they LOVE D*CK



Now theres groupies groupies you treat them with little respect because they are cool sometimes they might not be as bad as a hoe but they bad because they'll f*ck ya group of people you hang with but not the whole city like hoes. Its ok to take a groupie on dates sometimes they require it they have little respect for them self. Groupies are groupies for a reason they are total idiots so with groupies you ha groupies are the type you simp to on twitter where you and your boys lowkey compete but in the end you both know whats up, groupies are the ones you run trains on with your boys groupies are usually your crews groupie for about 2-3 months then they finally realize they aint gaining sh*t from it then eventually yall will just be friends that talk to every now and then and again its ok to nut on groupies in the eye, forehead, or mouth NO CUDDLING ALLOWED



Now theres the friend type (my fave) now the friend type is like that girl that you want to like but you can't get that relationship feeling cause you guys are to much alike and understand each other to well but every now and then yall mess around thre now a hoe nor groupie because they only mess with people they get to know good first so you treat them with the up most respect. This is the one you learn the most from you need there advice and they are the one that you vent to. You should never disrespect this kind because they probably have feelings fo you and can be hurt easy you can take this kind on dates this is the one that you are always with most of the time having fun with, the type your cool with her fam n sh*t , and this type you usually nut on the tummy or don't nut on them @ all



Now theres the girlfriend type. Is strictly gf material even tho it never works out. But the girlfriend type you gotta treat with respect, you gotta do things to make her smile make her feel good about her self, you gotta care for her, cuddle with her and call her every night. Girlfriend types are the ones you show attention to cause they love attention from a man . Girlfriend types guys always f**k up with , you always end up cheating even tho you still love her. The gf type its ok to tell the gf type you love her cause you probably do but the gf type usually the hype dies down after a while so the relationships die down. Now this the type dudes usually nut inside or not on at all but when the relationship dies you begin to nut on them in the "hoe" targeted places



Now theres a woman = single,independent, strong, can cook, clean and don't take no sh*t. Now a woman don't need no n*gga to make her happy thats why women don't fall for game women are usually hard to get and require a real man to get her even those chances are slim. Now women you gotta treat them with respect women you can't really compliment and them and sh*t cause they know there beautiful and they probably tired of hearing it cause so many thirsty people tell them a day. Now a woman you got to take on dates but don't expect nothing from them like (sex) and ect. Because its not going down. Women are the type of girls who got hurt at a young age and made mistakes at a young age and learned from her mistakes. So with woman you can really treat you just gotta go with the flow

Poems

Sometimes love isn't all what i seems, by @ICanOnlyBeMeAla

Love something that just happpens never expected & very unprotected, love something that seems so real, until the day the evil reveals, love something so sweet, harmless & blessed, just around the corner here comes some type of mess. Love is blind yes its true, but how would we ever know, what's real when we haven't got a clue, you give em your heart, you give em your soul, later feeling as if your being owned. Now your not the girlfriend, your his property something that was most valued & respected, to fearing the one who beholds you, never thinking it could happen to you, until that day appears and your clear skies are always blue, your family sees it too, knowing this life you live is not you. To be held captive of your goals and dreams, only to hear I love you and nicer things, never meaning a thing, but you never had a mother with loving ways nor a father to hold you & say it would be better days, never taught that love can be decieving, people loving for all the wrong reasons. At the end of it all love something that just happens, never expected, very unprotected, can be real, sweet, harmless and blessed, but then again it isn't all what it seems.

By @Taliababbeh

i lie on the ground and i stare into space


the stars begin to move into the shape of your face

i see you there now looking down on men

with that sexy smile i love to see

you say "close your eyes, tell me what you see"

i see only two people

just you and me

we're walking on the shoreline with our feet getting wet

the horizon turns pink as the sun begins to set

we make love through the night on that white sandy shore

as you hold me im thinking i could want no more

damn i wish i could be in that special place

as i lie on the ground and stare into space
 
 
Invisible By @ashylegz
 
Am I invisible....


Do you see through me?

Through me I wish u could see,

For though it may seem as if

My life is not so easy

I do not display any elements of my being...

Is that why you fail to notice me?

I am here you know... I do exists...

But you're not the only one...

People tend to bypass me

Tip toe, trot, step, stomp... All over me,

All over my heart

It pains me dearly...

Leaving scars and bruises behind,

Just to remind me of all that I went through....

And now you notice me....

ONLY because I am black and blue
 
 
By @Bre_Loso_Bhadd
 
The sky was dark


The moon was high

All alone just she and I

Her hair was soft

Her eyes were blue

I knew just what

She wanted to do

Her skin so soft

Her legs so fine

I ran my fingers

Down her spine

I didn't know how

But I tried my best

I started by placing

My hands on her breast

I remember my fear

My fast beating heart

But slowly she spread

Her legs apart

And when I did it

I felt no shame

All at once

The white stuff came

At last it's finished

It's all over now

My first time ever

At milking a cow.....
 

 
By @naomi_clasSICK

basketball isn't just a sport. Yuu have to be not only physically

aware ; but also mentally aware . readingg the other teams plays,

shiffting the defense, always knowing were the ball is, and where YOU

are at all times. it takes weeks and weeks of practice and long term

commitment that not everyone can handle. not everyone can handle the

anxiety. not everyone can handle the long practices or the coaches

yelling at you for every mistake. but the bottom line is ; when you do

finally get in - yu have to make a difference. * not everyone can be

the starting point gaurd, but every position matters , every play

counts, & every minute is important. imma ball player & I've been

trained to handle the pressure, keep my head up even when the score is

down, and to do everythingg I possibly can to make the numbers on the

scoreboard just that much higher.

---this year will be different. #12

How To Successfully Get Away From A Stanky P*ssy

P*ssy ? What is a p*ssy ? The p*ssy is the passage leading from the opening of the vulva to the cervix of the uterus in female mammals. P*ssy feels good at times and mostly over ate by african americans my uncle told me its like a black mans watermelon "if it ain't juicy then don't put ya d*ck in the coochie" and lesson learned some people say p*ssy rules the world some say p*ssy is just another thing in the world :) but enough of that the question of the day is "What Do You Do When The P*ssy Stank" ? Ohh man.. This is a very very difficult task very challenge this task is not meant for everyone "Athletic people only" cause i know thats the worst feeling you pull them panties off ready to beat the dust off that p*ssy and a stinch of a fishy smell hit yo nose ? Your liable to pass out in 0.3 to 2 seconds..you'll definently lose your balance and wobble to the floor a little. But here my tutorial on how

How To Get Away From A Stanky P*ssy
Difficulty : VERY VERY HARD

1. This this the most important step before any sexual actions go on make sure you have at least 2 exit's "window" and "open path to the door"

2. This a important step also make sure you have the song "Dont start no sh*t won't be no sh*t" by lil jon somewhere on the playlist so once you get away she'll be in her room plotting to k*ll yo a** until that song come on and itl remind that hoe "Don't start no sh*t wont be no sh*t"

3. Before you plug it u got to rub it so basically rub the p*ssy get it wet..and smell your finger this is a difficult task you have to be very sneaky try the no look sniff yo finger cause you dont want to get caught. this doesn't work 100% all the time

4. When your kissing down her neck and licking down her tummy and she try's to resist at first when you try to take the pants off she prolly knows her sh*t stank, thats a 1st sign to get yo ass out if this step doesn't help go to the next

5. Your prolly @ the point where her pants is off this the main step this is it..oh and i forgot to tell you never take your clothes or shoes off until the p*ssy is clear to and is smelling right. But once the panties is off the smell will definently hit you.

6. Once that p*ssy stinch hit you, you might "harlem shake" by force when that happens grab the near pillow target the hoes head close yo eyes and swing as hard as you could plz plz plz plzzzzzz do not miss or your screwed if you miss your punishment is to eat that p*ssy

7. Once your target is down look left, then look right make sure the coast is clear once it is head for the nearest door or window i recommend the window

8. When you jump out the window please don't take your time like how white people do in scary movies when getting chased by a killer n*gga just jump yo a** out the window so it look like you got tossed out like jazzy jeff on fresh prince

9. RUN , RUN , RUN once you out the house n*gga run like you got caught on "how to catch a predator" and you trying to get away from the cops.

10. Last but not least...pat yo self on the back and fist pump while playing kanye west "you can't tell me nothing" cause you did it you got away from a stank p*ssy.

ANY OTHER TIPS LEAVE COMMENTS

How To Slap a B*tch

EVERY ONE WANTS TO KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS THIS IS THE BLOG THA SHUD HELP U

I CAME ACROSS A QUESTION IN A BLOG ABOUT A ABUSIVE GIRLFRIEND SO READ THE QUESTION ND MY ANSWER ON HOW TO SLAP A BITCH

HIS QUESTION:
Me and my girlfriend had a huge argument and she hit me. I dont mean like a slap a full on attack. I dont know what to do i really love her, im walking round with bruises all over my body. This isnt the first time she has lashed out at me what am i doing so wrong?

MY ANSWER:

(Literally rolling on the floor laughin lookn like a crackhead who hit a pipe nd leg gave out) lmao..i kno u did not really jus ask that question ? Lol..all man nd she got u with bruises ? Ahahahaahaha.. Ok.. Lol funny times over.. But imma give u some advice with how to handle this so u can prevent this from happening..i know how to handle abusive relationships..nd its not what ur doing wrong its what u need 2 do right..well maybe u are doin something wrong wit bruises from yo bitch lol.imma give u a few steps on how to perfectly SLAP THE SHIT out her..which will
Make her think twice about harming u again..
10 S T E P S to SLAP BITCH
1. Ask yourself if ur mentally capable of doing this..ask yourself if are u really tired of this ?
2. Pre Meditate it..and plan it out..(WATCH INSTRUCTION VIDEO BELOW) IF UR DONT KNOW HOW TO SLAP
3. Once u have it all planned out go in the bathroom nd listen 2 bone crusher – neva scared nd look in the mirror for about 30-45 minutes..nd tell yoself..i aint a bitch no more imma fuck her up..(repeat continuesly) while wigglin yo fingers
4. Then when your ready text her a grip of smiley faces be nice u gotta get her smiling all day
5. Finally invite her over tell her u got a suprise for her
6. When she arrives tell her baby i love u i have a suprise for u..then place a blindfold over her eyes.
7. Tell her pick a hand left or right (while shes thinkn which hand cock yo strong arm back far as possible nd have good balance under ur feet for levreg for a higher IMPACT)
8. Then when she finally guesses dont say nothing jus stay quiet nd think about all them times she hurt u to get ur adrenaline up
9. She gone be waitin like “left hand baby..
Ugh stop playin jus tell me already” then shell prolly smile
10. Then soon as u see that smile u SLAP THE LIVING HELL OUT THAT BITCH and wit ur legs balanced the force shud knock sum spit out her mouth nd she shud drop instantly and hit the deck wit force..

Then i gaurantee that will stop her from touching u a give..thatl turn her into a angel aka the best gf a man can ask for ..


Quick tips :
Please make sure u focus on her face cuhz u dont want 2 SWING AND MISS..u can blow ya back out or sum10

Remmember balance is they key the best stance is like u throwing a football

Lickn ur hand or having baby powder can be added(optional)

But again make sure u dont SWING AND MISS

That Baby Ain't MIne

So here how the story goes, so theres 2 homies Tyrone, and Davonte best friends since they were kids. But after high school Devonte finally came out the closet = he is a fag, and Tyrone was deeply in love he had a girlfriend (Lisa) with the biggest booty that would make a crackhead dougie when she walk by. So Devonte had moved in with Tyrone and Lisa Because he had got kicked out at 1st Tyrone had a problem with it cause of his girl then he thought nevermind Devonte got to much sugar in his tank he wouldn't dare touch my girl when i'm gone at work (Tyrone worked graveyard shift because his a**hole boss changed his schedule).

So one day Devonte wakes up in the middle of night because hes thirsty and hears some moaning noise so he thinks to him self "i thought Tyrone was at work i guess not" and lets it go. So he gets something to drink and on his way back he notices the moans even louder and thought to himself "i've know Tyrone all my life his voice don't sound like that let me text this n*gga" so he texts his boy Tyrone to see if he's at work

DEVONTE: Aye N*gga

TYRONE : Is everthing alright ? you never texts me at this time when i'm at work

(so Devonte realizes Lisa is cheating on this n*gga, but decides to play it cool cause if drama goes on and Lisa and Tyrone split he'd have no wear to go)

so Devonte decides to knock on the door

(Knocks)

*Crickets* (and moaning stops)

so Devonte waves his arm talking about "oh so they think I am playing huh. so Devonte decides to bust in the door and see's a midget with his jeans to his ankles trying to pull his pants up and hop out the window so Lisa looks at Devonte

LISA : Devonte its not what you think please don't tell Tyrone he would kill me

DEVONTE : uhm huhhh that has been my boy forever this is some bullsh*t

LISA : Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee I'd do anything, and I mean anything

DEVONTE: Anything ??

LISA : Anything....

(Devonte thinks to himself man I haven"t had p*ssy since I came out the closet that a** is kind of fat)

(Lisa hops out the covers in her lingerie turns around and bends over)

DEVONTE : DAMMMMNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!! that a** is to fat

(Devonte harlem shakes as he gets horny)

so they do the nasty or whatever

so a few weeks past and Lisa ends up pregnant and Tyrone is very excited for his first child he's been wanting forever

so the baby finally born and Tyrone notices the baby looks nothing like him and gets suspect and immediately thinks of that night when Devonte texted him late Devonte Notices it to so Devonte decides he is going to confess cause of he felt guilty

DEVONTE : I got something to confess you remember that time I texted you late ?

TYRONE : Yea

DEVONTE: Well me and Lisa had an affair

TYRONE : What ???..man nevermind mad I'm going to let god handle this

(Tyrone puts his head down..then says god tells me to whoop yo a**...so Tyrone f**ks Devonte up:

TYRONE : I Want to take a test make sure and see who's baby this is I ain't going to support a baby that ain't mind..I'm going to call Maury

(weeks past they get on the Maury show)

MAURY : The results are in!!!!!!

(Lisa falls to the ground crying in guilt,While Tyrone has his head down)

MAURY : Devonte you are not the FATHER!!!

(Devonte gets up jumping with his gay a**, wiggling his booty and taunting to the crowd "uhm hmm uhmm hmm what i tell yall)

(Lisa tears stop and Tyrone gets up smiling fist pumping give me the results maury)

MAURY : So Tyrone if you are the father of this baby are you going to take full responsibility and try work things out with Lisa for the babies sake ?

TYRONE : Yes, I am so give me the results

(Lisa smiles and hold Tyrone tight rubbing his back

MAURY : The results are in..TYRONE YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!!!!!

(Tyrone pushes Lisa off him as she falls to the floor in slow motion and his her head on the chair)

(Everyone is in shock and Tyrone ends the relationship)

So now Tyrone is packing his stuff ready to move out and his boss shows up at his house to help out

(Devonte notices him and drops his jaw)

Tyrones boss was the midget he caught f**king Lisa